


Session One

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [23]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 01:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4857794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Matsuoka's first appointment with Professor Sakaki goes about as well as you'd expect. (It gets better.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Session One

**Author's Note:**

> In which I continue to write everything out of order, and to favor the adult characters.  
> SORRY I AM OLD SO I ENJOY WRITING ADULTS \o/
> 
> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**November 9, 2017**

I glanced over at the clock for the tenth time, confirming yet again that only a few seconds had passed since the last check. Annoying. It wasn't like me to be anxious, especially when the cause of my anxiety wasn't even in the same room. Or maybe anxiety was too strong a word; what I felt was simple nervous tension, normal before a first meeting.

When I was younger, I'd always assumed that such feelings would eventually stop cropping up during my work days, but I soon realized that no one could escape ordinary worries. Even Kazuki spoke of feeling jittery before a big meeting, or at the beginning of a tense one-on-one conversation. Those feelings always faded once he eased into the talk, and it was the same for me - and probably everyone else on earth who needed to communicate with others.

 _I bet even Professor Sakaki feels like this at the beginning of class._ I looked at the clock again; still another five minutes before the appointed time. _And I'm sure he's even more stressed out about this first meeting than I am._

There was a courtesy knock on the door, and a moment later, the professor slid it open and peered in. Once he was satisfied that no one else was present, he stepped into the office with a muttered greeting. As before, he brought the unpleasant odor of cigarette smoke with him.

I stood, chest tight, and gestured toward the door. "If you'd like to lock it, go ahead. I'd rather not be interrupted during our talk."

"Good idea," he replied, voice flat and emotionless, and turned to flick the lock into place. When he turned back, I reached out and patted the arm of the extra chair I'd pulled out of storage. Sakaki settled into it without comment, crossing his legs and folding his arms over his chest. Classic closed body posture. Well, I didn't really expect anything different. I sat down again, forcing myself to resist the urge to mirror his pose, which only made me feel more self-conscious.

Where to begin? He was watching me with a guarded expression, mostly neutral though his head was turned a bit to one side as if he refused to face me head-on. That wasn't unusual; I'd dealt with plenty of reluctant students, most recently during the health fair. One sullen adult wasn't going to scare me off. Rather, that provided a good starting point.

"You're obviously not happy to be here."

I could tell that it was a struggle for him to hold back a harsh response. Instead, he shrugged. "It's what's required of me."

"I think you'll have a better time if you think of this as an opportunity and not some sort of punishment." His shoulders grew tense, eyes darting away to look at the wall, and I resisted the urge to sigh. "Look, we should probably establish some sort of ground rules here before doing anything else. This isn't going to work well if we're not honest with each other. I want you to feel free to say whatever you want while you're here with me. Anything that's said in this office stays in this office."

The professor snorted. "Unless you decide you have cause to use it against me."

Well, at least he was being honest. "I didn't say that."

"What other reason would you have for wanting to talk with me like this? You're testing to see if I measure up to some arbitrary standard that you have in mind. Not only that, but I have to pass your inspection every week without fail, and once I do fail, you'll have a mountain of evidence."

I mentally counted to five before responding, "That mountain of evidence, as you put it, can just as easily work in your favor. This isn't a therapy session or some sort of interrogation. I want to know more about you so I can feel comfortable with the decision I've made." I paused. "And if I need to reverse that decision based on what I learn, I will. Don't forget that my job requires me to report these sorts of incidents."

Sakaki eyed me with a sour expression. "How could I forget?" He closed his eyes with a sigh. "Look, I appreciate what you're doing. But that doesn't mean I can't resent it at the same time. One outsider setting himself up as the custodian of our relationship is..."

After a few seconds, it became clear that he wasn't going to finish that thought. "Better that it's one outsider who happens to be somewhat sympathetic than several who aren't. I think it would be quite difficult to find others who would give you a chance, especially in this environment."

Sakaki probably didn't know, but there had been several incidents at the school in the past, and I'd been pulled into the resolution of each one. Putting aside my own biases and assumptions wasn't going to be easy, and getting close to the professor was rather like attempting to hug a cactus.

"I know that," he sighed again. "I know. Six months ago, I would have been the one threatening to report this kind of relationship and remove the offender from the school. Now I find myself thinking that everything is more complicated than people would like to believe."

Finally, something I could work with. "What's the real difference between a boy of sixteen and one of eighteen? Is it right to assume that every student is on the same emotional level? What kind of harm could be done to someone young and inexperienced?"

Sakaki shook his head. "I don't know the answers to those questions."

"They're not easy questions, and they don't have concrete answers. So let me ask something much simpler. Have you ever been involved with a student before?" I knew the answer, but I wanted to draw him out with easy questions, something that would keep the conversation flowing.

"Of course not! I already told you that."

"Then, are you generally interested in younger guys?"

"Not at all."

So this was going to be like pulling teeth. "So what type do you prefer?"

"On what planet does this actually matter?"

I reached up to adjust my glasses, covering my exasperated expression. Not even five minutes into our conversation, and Sakaki was already grating on me. "The one where I'm the mandatory reporter who needs to get to know you and your motivations better. You can be as reluctant and abrasive as you want, but you have to talk to me."

"My usual type has nothing to do with this conversation. Ask me about Asahina, not my past lovers."

"Well, don't you think it's odd? Going against your usual type, and for someone who is quite literally a danger to you?"

"Of course I do! But that doesn't change the fact that you're missing the point. The question isn't _why not this type?_ but _why Asahina?,_ isn't it?" He met my eyes for the first time since arriving. "Though if you really must know, I like older guys with experience, but who know how to be discreet. Someone like _you._ "

I silently cursed the blood that rushed to my cheeks. "That was unnecessary."

"Was it? You're the one who wanted honest answers." His faint smirk was a bit irritating, and I wanted to tell him that this wasn't a game and no one was trying to score points, but I bit my tongue and allowed him to continue. "And it seems like we're similar in at least that way."

"What way?"

"Wanting our privacy." He looked away, silent for a few moments before adding, "So I think you understand why this is so hard for me."

"I think a situation like this would be difficult for anyone," I pointed out.

He ignored that and continued, "I had no idea you were gay. I never suspected anything, I just thought you were an eccentric who either lived alone, or that you were the type who doesn't like to talk about personal life with coworkers. If I hadn't overheard that conversation with Nao, I'd still be in the dark. Why are you trying so hard to hide?"

"I'm not trying to hide anything," I protested, even as I bit back the objection that I wasn't exactly gay, at least not in the way most people understood the word. Of course, I'd been close to Hiroya since we attended school together, but my feelings at that time had been purely friendship. My studies and medical school made it difficult to find time for girlfriends, and I'd found it tough to get along with the American girls who'd been raised in a completely different culture. Honestly, between studying and tutoring Kazuki, I hadn't had time for much of anything else. I hadn't felt compelled to spend time with any potential lovers. I'd been too busy.

At least, that was what I'd thought. Even after hearing about Hiroya's accident and returning to Japan to watch over him, I still didn't understand. Only then the excuse had been that I was too caught up in my anger at his suffering and my vague daydreams of revenge. All of that had been swept away by Keita's kindness, and finally, I was free to realize the meaning behind the years of bedside vigil and the way I'd offered my hair as a prayer for Hiroya's health.

It was that 'once in a lifetime' sort of love, the kind of thing you heard about in fairytales that didn't exist in the real world. It was hard enough to explain it to close friends or family; I didn't really feel like trying to explain it to the professor.

"That's an awfully long pause for someone who's not hiding anything." Sakaki's eyes were on me again. "Are you concerned because you work in a school? Family pressures?"

I shook my head without thinking. "That's not really it. I just don't like talking about my private life, any of it."

"But keeping quiet is an advantage when working at a school like this, isn't it?"

"Well, I won't deny that," I reluctantly gave in.

"Don't you think it would be good for boys who are questioning to have someone to confide in? Having a friendly shoulder to lean on might make a world of difference." His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't say anything else.

I knew Keita was talking to a couple of boys, acting as a quiet supporter for them. It was a role I could fill as well, but since I was literally old enough to be the father of all but the oldest students at the school, he was a better fit. Closer in age, easygoing, and easy to talk to. There was no need for me to meddle in his informal mentoring.

"The boys at this school do have someone to talk to," I replied, though I felt the sting of the professor's words; it was something I could be doing as well. "Anyway, why are we talking about me? This is supposed to be about you, isn't it?"

"Oh, you finally noticed? I guess I couldn't hope to distract you for too long." Sakaki was finally looking more relaxed, resting his hands in his lap now that his legs were stretched out in front of him, though still crossed at the ankles.

If poking at me a bit was what it took to get him to open up, I would gladly pay that price. "You're quite good at controlling a conversation."

"You can't be a teacher at this school, or on its board, if you let people walk all over you."

"And you can't do either of those things if people know too much about your personal life?"

"You really are persistent," he sighed.

"It's my job." That time, I was the one with a bit of a smile.

He looked away again, staring out the window as he spoke. "That's just the way things have always been for me. I learned very quickly that my 'choices', as my family likes to say, needed to be kept secret in order to survive. I've never known anything different."

Another long pause. I watched his eyes dart about, following a pair of birds outside.

"How long have you been hiding?" I prompted.

It took him a few seconds to begin speaking again. "Since middle school. I've been aware of myself for a long time. It started with keeping silent about my feelings around family, and that meant my friends couldn't know either. I didn't know what they would think, and I was sure it would eventually get back to my parents, even if my friends were accepting. Kids can't help talking."

"And so that continued all the way until now?"

"For the most part. Things were better after high school. I lived on campus during university, and I was finally able to explore. Of course, that had to be kept quiet too, can't have rumors about the Sakaki family floating around." He snorted. "As if anyone cared about what I did. My brother's the one who got stuck in the spotlight all the time."

"Did that bother you?"

"No. I have no interest in my family or their business ventures. I just want to teach."

"That's a bit unusual for someone from such a prominent family. Or did that come about because of their involvement in education and private schools?"

Sakaki turned back toward me, gaze sharp. "That has nothing to do with this conversation."

Hmm, another roadblock. I made a mental note and filed it away for later. "Well, would it be fair to say that part of why you remain closeted is because you're a teacher?"

"Of course, isn't it obvious? Especially at a school full of teenage boys. I don't have time to deal with the hassle of being approached by kids who get the wrong idea, or to deal with parents who assume that being gay makes you a predator who's after every single male who ever lived." He shook his head. "That goes for all teachers. Better to be a neutral, boring adult than anyone who might potentially be seen as a friend or something more. That's part of being a professional."

"Yet somehow, you've ended up with Asahina."

His cheeks darkened slightly, and he gave a little huff with his nose. "That wasn't intentional. Someone like that shouldn't be wrapped up in this mess. He should be in an honest relationship with one of his friends. Heaven knows he has plenty of admirers among them."

I considered asking about Asahina's friends, but there was a more interesting question. "Are you worried that Asahina might let something slip because he's so honest?"

"No, I trust him," the professor responded without hesitation. "Even if he slips up, his ridiculous luck will protect any secret that he wants to keep."

Despite the answer, his brows drew together, and I pressed, "Then why do you look so worried?"

"I'm not worried about now." Sakaki reached up, rubbing at the line that had formed between his brows. "The problem is what happens later. I can't ask Asahina to keep our relationship a secret forever. I know he wants to talk about it and is keeping quiet for my sake, but once he graduates from this school, that has to end." His lips curled into a humorless smile. "My days of secrecy are numbered. No escape."

I raised one eyebrow. "When he graduates? You two have planned that far ahead?"

"Is it that surprising?" His look wasn't quite a glare, but it was sharper than usual.

There was no wiggling out of it. "Maybe a little. Mostly, I'm glad to hear that the relationship is long term and serious." Though that could be a problem as well, depending on how things went. If Asahina grew too focused on a relationship at such a young age, it could distract him from developing other skills or maintaining his grades. Though I had to admit that it seemed like he'd been keeping everything in balance so far; the only complaint I'd heard was from friends who lamented that he was never around on the weekends.

Sakaki's expression grew dark. "I said I loved him. That wasn't some cowardly attempt at weaseling out of trouble. I don't use that word lightly." He was staring at me, lips pressed together in a tight line. Anyone else would have felt compelled to apologize, but I was used to dealing with sullen students and irritable staff.

"I wasn't suggesting that you did. I'm genuinely happy to hear that the two of you have discussed the future. After all, there's plenty of loving couples who avoid difficult conversations."

"That again? I told you, I don't need praise for meeting minimum standards of decency."

I shook my head. "I don't think you realize just how many people have trouble meeting those so-called _minimum standards,_ Professor. You're more mature and straightforward than most people twice your age."

Sakaki's cheeks colored. "Don't flatter me," he grumbled, "I'm not the kind of man one would call honest or straightforward."

I hadn't meant to embarrass him. Maybe he wasn't used to praise, or at least not to being called honest "If you're comparing yourself to Asahina, I think he's a different flavor of honest. More like the childlike innocence variety than a mature honesty. So," I offered a tentative smile, "is that what drew you to him? You said you're a private person, but you let someone like Asahina get close to you. It's surprising."

"You really are going to keep poking and offering leading questions, aren't you?" But Sakaki's tone was lighter, more amused than irritated.

"I would be lying if I said no."

"Hmph." The professor leaned back in his chair with a weary sigh. "Asahina is special, in a way that's impossible to describe. He's charmed the entire school with his personality. I know he's been helping his friends, I've noticed subtle changes in several of them. He's gotten close to people who seem strange or who've held themselves apart from others."

"Like you?"

"Doctor, your questions are too predictable. Yes, like me. I would never consider letting a student get close to me, but there's something about his honesty and the way he cares for others. When he talked to me, I could feel his sincerity. He wasn't hoping to win favors or get something from me. I must have been like his classmates, someone who was hurting, and he was drawn to that." He paused, rubbing idly at the side of his neck. "Someone like that normally wouldn't draw my attention, but Asahina is stubborn and persistent, and on some level I wanted to let him get closer."

Another long pause, though it seemed that Sakaki was done volunteering information, so I prompted, "You found him attractive?"

He folded his arms over his chest. "That makes me sound like an evil pervert."

I felt the urge to mirror his pose but forced myself to remain still. "It's just a question."

"I already told you, Asahina isn't my type. He's cute, I won't deny that, but his body is an awkward mess. It was his personality and his persistence. That sort of genuine cheer and concern really gets under your skin after enough exposure." His eyes met mine. "That boy is special. That's not my opinion, it's a fact. I've never met anyone with that much force of presence."

"The presence of a natural leader," I nodded my agreement. "And he's very easy to talk to, even if he doesn't quite understand the nuance of a conversation."

"It's more than being easy to talk to. Asahina is easy to trust." Sakaki's gaze wandered to the window again. "It's been a long time since I've been able to trust anyone. It's strange that I've let him get so close, it's not like me. But somehow it felt right."

Silence again, as he watched the clouds.

"He's helped you too. Several students have mentioned that you're easier to approach now, and that your teaching style has softened a bit." I poked at the bridge of my glasses. "And you smile more now."

"Heh, you're a bit like Asahina yourself, just saying whatever you want without caring how embarrassing it is. What do you want me to say to that? Everyone who's been blessed with Asahina's favor smiles more now. Maybe even you." Sakaki turned away from the window. "He's a rare person, changing everyone he touches. It's like he somehow draws the poison out of everyone who's sick, but isn't affected by it himself."

Poison, sickness; interesting word choices, and not ones I'd expect to hear from someone like Sakaki, who was always calm and in control. "I'm sure Asahina's friends would agree that he's a special person." Were those friends recovering just as dramatically as the professor suggested? I couldn't deny that several of them had been more open during the health fair.

"The word special is overused to the point of becoming meaningless." The professor sighed, making a bit of a face. "But cliche as it sounds, though Asahina has luck, I'm the one who's truly lucky. I get to face the world with someone like that at my side. It doesn't matter that he's just a boy."

"He's already accomplished so much, huh..."

"More than anyone else I've ever met."

I didn't know what else to say, so I just nodded my acknowledgement of his words. I understood that feeling, the security in knowing that your partner was the most special person in all the world, and that being chosen by them was nothing short of a miracle. That one half of a pair would be a first year high school student was unlikely, but not impossible. After all, I'd seen it before.

I was sure that Sakaki would always be something of a mystery to me, but I already felt safe enough in concluding that he wasn't a monster. Rather, he was human. Imperfect, with his own share of flaws and secrets, shaped by a personal past, and with hopes for a better future. Of course, just one conversation wasn't enough to feel secure in my decision to keep quiet for the moment, and there would be many more before I came to a final conclusion.

The beep of my email made us both jump, and I twisted in my chair to look at the screen. "Was that almost half an hour already? I have another appointment in five minutes." I glanced back toward the professor apologetically. "I'm sorry, I need to leave right away or I won't be in time."

"Yeah, that's fine. I've already talked too much."

I couldn't help smiling. "You're surprisingly easy to talk to."

"I told you, don't flatter me." The chair scraped across the floor as he stood, stretching his arms overhead while taking a deep breath. "I'm only doing this because I have to."

"You know, things might be easier if you tried being a little less thorny."

He was silent, eyes widened slightly as he stared at me, but he recovered after a few seconds with an amused snort. "That will never happen. Even Asahina has to deal with the thorns."

"But he's decided that the flowers are worth the trouble."

The professor let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm not here for terrible metaphors or unfounded assumptions. Not everyone can be a rose."

With that, he turned and left the office without another word. Once he was gone, I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

_Rough customer. Though perhaps not as rough as he'd like everyone to think._

~ end ~


End file.
